uhg!

so im not really sure if this is what were supposed to be blogging about but im going to anyways. Because i really need to vent and my friends arent here. so writing helps me. College sucks i hate it here. I miss my friends alot. Cookeville is really boring and there isnt anything to do. Sorority is fun. its different and i dont like the rules but im learning to deal. My mom is in Florida because my grandma is in the hospital and its not looking very well. she was supposed to have surgery and they called it off because they said having the surgery would be like "taking off in a plane but not knowing if you can land or not". and last night when i talked to my grandma she told me that she thinks its her time to go. and i told her to call me before she died. so i could say goodbye. and this morning before my first class she called me and i talked to her for a little while and she sounded good but my mom told me that its deceiving. so its been rough day. but shes still alive. so thats good. Were doing pep rally for my sorority and its like cheerleading stuff. and ive been cheering my whole and its the only thing im good at. and its really frustrating when other girls arent as good. and i mean i know i cant expect them to be as good as me cuz ive been doing it my whole life. but it just stresses me out when stunts dont hit and when motions arent sharp. i miss my squad. i miss my friends. i miss my family. and college sucks.